Sleeping Arrangements
by kt2785
Summary: I'm bad at doing summaries. Sawyer and Kate. Season 6. No real spoilers. Please R & R. Oneshot.


They walked through the trees. Kate was somewhat cautious. She didn't know what to think of Claire or Sayid for that matter. His smile was making her skin crawl. He was smiling at the fact that all those people were dead. Claire had the same smile. She walked next to her and looked at her.

"What did you mean Kate?" Claire asked. "Why would you take him from me?"

"I didn't-" Kate sighed. "Claire…Sawyer found him. He found him in the middle of the jungle, and you were gone. He looked for you for day and a night. You were gone."

"So you decided to kidnap my baby," she answered.

"I didn't kidnap him," Kate said, feeling the lump rise in her throat. "I took him to the boat. We were going to go back to look for you, but then the helicopter we were on was losing fuel and the freighter blew up and then the island disappeared."

"You expect me to believe all that?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I guess I kinda do. I know it sounds crazy…but that's what happened. And I raised him because-well because I didn't want to lose one more person."

"Why didn't you bring him back?" Claire questioned. "You came back here…where did you leave Aaron?"

"I left him back in the real world," she whispered. "With your mother."

"Why?" Claire asked.

"Because I didn't think-" Kate began. "I didn't think you would want me to bring him back here. I wanted to-"

"You didn't think I'd want my baby back?" she scoffed.

"I was going to bring you back to him," Kate whispered.

"Well we're not going to leave the island," she replied. "So if what you said is true, it's your fault that I'll never see my son again."

"I-I'm sorry," Kate said. "I didn't-I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to raise my son?" she asked. "My son Kate. I kinda remember you telling me that you don't do well with kids. Remember that. I wanted you to pick him up and you got all nervous."

"Well-I learned how-" Kate said with a shaky voice. "It got harder to want to give him up. I love him so much Claire, but I know he deserves to be with you. You're his mom. I know that I'm-"

"I'm done talking to you now," Claire replied and walked ahead of her. She paused and turned around. "By the way…he's with us, just through these trees."

Kate furrowed her eyebrows. She knew that Claire couldn't be talking about Aaron. She didn't know who "he" was. She imagined that it was probably either Jack or Sawyer. Part of her wished it was Sawyer because since she had left him, she was worried about what he might do. They came through the clearing and he was sitting by a tree. He didn't move when they walked toward him.

"We got more people James," the man pretending to be Locke said. "Sayid has joined us."

"Whatever," Sawyer murmured. "We staying here for tonight?"

"Sure," the man replied with a smile. "We don't have to go anywhere else tonight."

Kate walked through the crowd and looked at him. She waved meekly and sat down, but didn't say anything.

"You alright," he whispered. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"How are you doing?" she asked softly. It wasn't a question of "hey, how are you." like what an old friend would ask. She knew how he was doing, but she wanted to make some kind of peace. He let out a scoff-like chuckle and nodded.

"I'm fine," he sighed. "Just kinda trying to forget everything. Locke's helping with that."

"That isn't Locke," she answered.

"I know," he replied. "But it's better than you."

"What?" she asked

"I don't want your help," he said. "You make it worse."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No you're not," he scoffed.

"Excuse me," she asked.

"You came over here all on your own," he murmured. "You came over and sat down next to me and asked me how I was. How the hell do you think I am Kate?"

"I think you're sad," she whispered. "And you need someone. Even if we don't talk."

"Didn't you hear me?" he asked. "I don't want it to be you. Put yourself-say Jack died. Died right in your arms. Would you really want _me _hangin' around? We were together…in so many words we were together. You can sit there and deny it all you want, but we had a relationship. I don't think that it would be entirely right if I let you comfort me in all this."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll leave you alone."

"Right," he chuckled. It was a smile. She wasn't sure if it was a fake smile, but it was good to see his smile again. His dimples. She got up and walked over to sit by herself.

**1 Week Later**

Kate didn't think they were doing anything important. She hadn't seen any signs of Jack or Hurley. She wasn't entirely worried, but part of her wondered where they were. Sawyer followed Locke. He listened to his orders. Kate couldn't understand why Sawyer would be listening to him.

Every night they slept in the jungle. She didn't feel safe. They were sleeping next to the smoke monster. At any moment he could turn on them. She was staring at the fire. She looked over her shoulder at Sawyer. Sawyer was sleeping propped up against a tree. His arms were folded across his chest. His head was hung. He looked dead, but his chest was rising and falling gently, so Kate knew he was ok. She looked back at the fire, mesmerized by the flames. She closed her eyes and started falling asleep.

When she woke up it was still dark. The fire was just glowing everyone around her was sleeping. She looked over her shoulder at the tree. Sawyer wasn't sleeping there anymore. She gasped softly and sat up. He was sleeping next to her. He hadn't been touching her. He wasn't even facing her, but there he was, sleeping next to her. She laid back down with her back to him too. She sighed softly, and didn't fall back to sleep.

She rolled over on her back and watched the sky get lighter. Sawyer stirred next to her and sat up. He groaned and sighed.

"I miss sleepin' in a bed," he said softly to Kate.

"You and me both," she half chuckled. "It got comfortable."

"Sorry," he stated.

"About what?" she asked.

"I fell asleep against that tree. I shoulda stayed there, but when I woke up my neck was stiff. It was the closest spot. It didn't mean anything."

"Sawyer, you can sleep wherever you want," she answered. "I don't care-"

"Sorry I was such a jerk then," he replied. She let out a soft chuckle and nodded.

That night without hesitation, Sawyer laid down next to Kate. He didn't touch her or say anything. He only laid there. But this time she could feel his breath on the back of her hair.

"I was happy," he whispered. She rolled over and looked at him. "I've never been happy in my entire life. Not even-never mind."

"James," she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Never mind."

It was bothering Kate that no one was asking questions. Every time she tried to talk to Locke, he refused to answer her questions. It was like Sawyer and Locke were in some kind of secret society that Kate wasn't a part of. But Sawyer didn't seem to be able to answer her questions either.

They were back at the beach. Several of the people had started building tents, feeling like they were never going to get of the island like Locke had promised. She was laying in the sand. She refused to rebuild her tent again, until she knew exactly what was going on. She felt him lay down next to her. Suddenly his arm came around her and pulled her closer. She gasped slightly, but didn't push him away.

"James," she whispered softly.

"I'm just-," he said into her ear. "I don't want to sleep alone anymore."

She ran her hands over his arms. She didn't say it out loud, but she missed sleeping with someone too. Just having the warmth of a body against her.

"Come to my tent," he whispered. He got up and looked down at her. "When you want."

She wouldn't go. Not tonight. It was too weird. His tent was the same one they slept in 3 years ago. The one that she would leave in the middle of the night. She didn't stand up.

The next morning she was at the water basin. It was like it was 3 years ago. The sounds of the camp around her. Filling her water bottle. But this time she wasn't going on treks in the middle of the jungle. Locke would disappear for days at a time, only to return with no new information. She had a feeling that she really wasn't going to get off the island and get Aaron back to his mom. Claire continued to insist that her baby was somewhere on the island. But the truth was even if he was still on the island somewhere Aaron wasn't a baby. He continued to remind Kate of that every time she called him baby. "I'm not a baby, momma," he would say. All she could do is smile and tell him he'd always her baby. But that wasn't true either. He would always be Claire's baby.

"You never came," Sawyer said behind her. She turned around.

"Sawyer, do you really think-" she began.

"It's just sleeping Kate. You don't have a tent anymore. I guess you could waste your time and build a new one. It's just to sleep Kate."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" she asked. He didn't say anything. "Then tonight…I guess I'll sleep there."

That night she kept her promise and made her way carefully to his tent. When she ducked inside he was already sleeping. She started leaving, but then sighed and laid down next to him. She didn't face him. But then she felt him roll over and put his arm around her.

"We talked about-" he began. "We talked about starting a family."

"What?" she asked.

"I knew it was something that she wanted," he continued. "She never really told me with words, but I could tell. She wanted a baby."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Why are you-"

"I don't know," he murmured. "G'night."

"Night," she whispered.

When she woke up in the morning Sawyer was cuddled against her. His face was against her neck and his arms were tightly around her. She wanted to get up, but she didn't want to wake him up. She started moving away from him, but he pulled her closer.

"No," he whispered. "It's not morning."

"Yeah," she answered. "It is. And you think I'm her."

"Hmm," he sighed and loosened his arms enough for her to get away, but he was still holding her slightly. "You're not her. You don't smell like her."

She flipped over and looked at him. He pressed his lips together and then sat up.

"See ya later," he said. She got up and walked out onto the beach. Sawyer was already gone. Kate looked over toward Claire who was sitting alone and talking to herself. Kate walked toward her and sat down. Claire smiled at her and continued to talk softly.

"Claire," Kate said. "I-um, have you seen Sawyer?"

"He went into the jungle," she answered.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Because he's coming today," Claire replied. "He's going to be here today, so Sawyer went to help."

"Who's coming?" Kate asked.

"Charles," she answered. "Charles Widmore. Now that Jacob is dead, he can come back."

"Ok, well, who is he?" Kate asked. "Is he going to-"

"He thinks he owns this island," Claire replied. "But don't worry. Sawyer is going to be fine."

They were gone the entire day, which wasn't giving Kate very much confidence that Sawyer would be fine. It got late and started raining. She was getting tired and was nodding off to sleep, even in the pouring rain, so she went to his tent to wait for him. To make sure she knew when he got back. She wasn't sleeping when she heard the tent flap open. She looked up at him and sighed softly.

"I was worried," she whispered. He was soaked. He looked down at her and didn't say anything. He came toward her, still not saying anything. She backed away slightly. "Sawyer? Sawyer what happened?"

He knelt next to her and put his hand on her neck. He pulled her toward him and kissed her softly. She backed away and looked at him.

"James," she whispered. He pulled his shirt over his head and pushed her down gently. He looked into her eyes. She reached up and put her hand on his cheek. He kissed her again. She kissed him back and sighed softly. He gently pulled her jeans down. She stopped him and looked up at him. He still didn't say anything, but he started kissing her again. She gave in. She couldn't stop. She had been waiting for 3 years to have him touch her again. To have him kiss her again. She didn't know what he was thinking. He was always so easy for her to read, but not this time. As they kissed, and as they took things further she tried desperately to figure out what was on his mind. She hoped it was her. She hoped he was thinking about her. But he wasn't saying anything. He wasn't whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She remembered that about him. He would always whisper into her ear. Sometimes it was just "Freckles" or "sweetheart." What she wouldn't give to hear him call her a silly nickname.

"Kate," he whispered softly. It was enough. She knew he was thinking about her and that was enough. His hands were all over her body, but he was being gentle and sweet. She gasped softly underneath him. He didn't stop to look at her. He didn't stop kissing her lips and neck.

She was laying against his chest. She tried to relax. She tried to keep content, but she still wasn't sure what was on Sawyer's mind. She lifted her head, but kept her hands against his chest. He reached up and touched her hair.

"Hey," she whispered.

"She was pregnant," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked.

"Y'know how I said that she wanted a baby?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Well, she was pregnant," he replied. "She told me…well, she didn't really tell me, but-she was pregnant."

"James-" Kate began.

"The thought of being a dad has always-" he shook his head. "Well, let's face it, it has _never_ been a thought in my head. I know that-I know I would be bad at it. But-"

"You would have tried," she whispered. "For her."

"I don't want to talk about it," he shook his head.

"You brought it up," she said.

"Yeah I know," he sighed. "But I'm-"

"I'm so sorry James," she whispered.

"I wouldn't have been good at it anyway," he murmured. "They were better off."

"You were good at being with Juliet," she told him. "And you would have learned how to be a good dad."

"It doesn't matter anyway," he shook his head. "She's gone."

"This was all-" she sighed and sat up. "I shouldn't be here. I should go."

"No," he said. He grabbed her hand gently and pulled her back toward him. "Don't leave."

"James, this was all a huge mistake," she shook her head. "You know that as well as I do. You don't want-"

"Don't tell me what I want," he replied.

"Fine," she sighed deeply. "Then you tell me. Tell me what you want."

He didn't say anything. She waited and then started getting up.

"Wait," he said, taking her hand.

"For what?" she whispered. "James, we both know that this was just-"

"Just what," he said taking her shoulders gently.

"What was it?" she asked.

"Sex," he told her.

"Just sex," she nodded. "Ok, then why should I stay?"

"Because you want to" he whispered and leaned forward to kiss her. She stared backing away, but then pressed her lips to his. "Do you miss him?"

"What?" she asked.

"Do you miss him?" he repeated.

"Who?" she whispered.

"Aaron," he said.

"Yes," she whispered. "I miss him so much."

"You'll always miss him," he said. "I don't think we're getting off this island Kate. And even if we do…Claire is his momma. You'll never be his mom again."

"Why are you doing this?" she sniffled. "Why are you-"

"Because it's true," he whispered. "I'll never see Juliet again, and you'll never see Aaron again."

"Are you trying to make me sad?" she asked. "Because congratulations."

He shook his head and put his hand on her cheek. She turned away and shook her head.

"Don't," she whispered. The tears started falling freely. She backed away, but something was keeping her in the tent.

"What about Jack?" he asked.

"What?" she scoffed.

"Do you miss him?" he whispered.

"N-no," she shook her head.

"I don't believe you," he said. "Of course you do. You love him, and now he's gone. You haven't seen him in over a week."

"Just because-" she sighed. "I don't miss him the way you think."

"Oh really?" he asked. "So it wasn't him you were just think-"

"Shut up!" she exclaimed.

"I just want to know-" he began.

"I don't have to sit here and listen to you accuse me of anything!" she yelled. "So screw you!"

He grabbed her wrist as she started to leave and pulled her into a kiss. She sobbed against him and then backed away.

"Let go of me," she said, twisting her arm out of his grip.

"Kate," he whispered. "Do you really want me to let you go?"

"Yes," she whispered. He let her wrist go and she looked at him.

"I wasn't thinking about him," she told him through her teeth. "Were you thinking about her?"

"I was mad at myself," he said softly. "It wasn't a mistake."

"Really?" she scoffed. "Well, kinda seems like it is-"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wiping her tears from her face. "It's my fault. I'm sorry."

"Wh-what do you want?" she asked softly.

"Kate, you were gone," he whispered. "I lost you. Do you know how much that sucked for me? I was all alone. I-I had to get over you. I thought you were dead. And even when Locke said he was going to get you guys to come back, I knew it would never work. Even if you were still alive, I knew I'd never see you again. So I got over you. I moved on. Juliet deserved that. She deserved all of me. So I got over it. I got over you."

"I'm glad you did," she said. "You should have moved on James."

"Well, it doesn't matter how much I loved her," he said. "I did. I loved her. I still do. Probably always will…but as much as I love her and as much as I tried to forget about you…I couldn't. I didn't. I never stopped loving you."

"I-" she began.

"No," he shook his head. "Don't say anything."

"I had to get over you too," she told him.

"What?" he whispered.

"You were gone too," she said. "You jumped. I thought about it every day. I thought about how different everything would have been if you had stayed. I thought about what would have happened if I had jumped after you."

"You were never gonna jump after me Kate," he half chuckled.

"Well I still thought about it Sawyer," she answered. "Every time-every time I looked at your daughter, I thought about the life you could have had."

"It wasn't the life I wanted," he shrugged. "I shouldn't have-I know what it's like to grow up without parents. I shouldn't have done that to her."

"It's ok," she whispered. "James…if it makes you feel any better, she's amazing. She's so smart. She is so happy and beautiful."

"I think about it sometimes too," he murmured. "What would have happened if I would have come back with you. But then I never would have had Juliet, so…everything worked out for the better."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know," she said. "I never stopped loving you either James."

He looked at her, and almost as if he didn't know what she said. He touched her cheek and she leaned toward him, but didn't kiss him. She put her hands on his neck and smiled weakly.

"Did you hear me?" she asked.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"What's the matter with you?" she scoffed.

"Nothing," he sighed. "I just-"

"Don't believe me?" she asked. "I don't know what I can do. Anything I say is going to be wrong. I can't do this James. Not if-"

He leaned forward and kissed her lips.

"I heard you," he whispered. He kissed her again. She let out a soft breath and shook her head.

"I love you James," she said out loud.

"Love you too," he replied.

_**The End**_

**A/N: Please review. **


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